Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Writer Voice Contest Entry #143

The Writer’s Voice” is a multi-blog, multi-agent contest hosted by Cupid of Cupid’s Literary Connection, Brenda Drake of Brenda Drake Writes, Monica B.W. of Love YA, and Krista Van Dolzer of Mother. Write. (Repeat.). They've based it on NBC’s singing reality show The Voice, so the four of them will serve as coaches and select projects for their teams based on the entered queries and first pages.


Genre: MG Fantasy

Word Count: 35k

14-year-old Lucas is going to betray his best friend.

After spending four years trying to find the mother his father sent away, Lucas will do anything to get her back. Living as Exiles has taken its toll on Lucas, his insanely competitive sister, and maniacal father. Sure, no longer having to steal for a bite to eat is tempting. So is finally having indoor plumbing and that awesome invention called a T.V., but it’ll all come at a price. Crystal, Lucas’s best friend and crush, is the Witch Queen’s niece and the perfect way to gain access to the Queen’s scepter, which has the power to free Lucas’s Exiled people. Of course, that doesn’t matter to him, but it does to his father who hungers for the dark magic to finally take down the Witches.

Lucas’s father gives him a choice: betray his best friend in exchange for his mother’s whereabouts or give up all hope of seeing the mother that sacrificed everything for him.

First 250 Words:

I broke into a Witch restaurant, sliding a pocketknife into the lock and wiggling until it clicked. My mouth watered just thinking about the basilisk pepperoni pizza that was always left in the fridge. Before stepping inside I glanced around the alleyway and listened. It seemed clear so I stepped through, closing the door behind me. I didn’t flick on the lights. Darkness had never made seeing difficult for me, plus as an Exile electricity wasn’t exactly high on my priority list. Although I had to hand it to those elemental witches, pizza was a divine invention. 

Hopping behind the counter, toward the back of the store there was a little room off to the left and away from the stove and grill area. In there was a fridge and microwave. God, I needed to convince the others to steal some of these. Then I realized we would need electricity, something we lacked. The scent of rotting food clogged my nostrils. I pressed my t-shirt to my nose. If, like witches, I could move water with just a wand I wouldn’t have left dirty dishes around. I clenched my fists. Lazy and self-entitled, that’s what witches were. I grabbed a couple slices of pizza from the fridge and tossed them into the microwave. I laughed. My father would kill me if he ever found out where I was. Never trust the witches, Lucas, he’d say. It was stupid. It was his own fault the witches forced them—us—into Exile.


Anonymous said...

Ah, I remember this from it's previous incarnation, as well as it's current one. Best of luck, Elizabeth!

Cherie Larkins said...

Interesting story!

Elizabeth Prats said...

Thanks all :)

Xan said...

Basilisk pepperoni pizza - I want me some of that! Good luck :)

SC Author said...

Haha, I was just about to comment on the basilisk pepperoni pizza :) I'm stopping by to wish good luck, and I love the nuances of world building (like the pizza) that you throw in there. Love the setting!

SC Author said...

I was just about to comment on the pizza :) I'm stopping by from the contest to wish good luck, and I love the nuances of world building in your 250.

Jaye Robin Brown said...

Best of luck in the contest!

Brandi M. Lynch said... You have a great concept, and the first 250 are awesome! Good luck! Brandi #199

April Wall said...

Good luck! Glad to see more MG entries! -April, #61

Matthew MacNish said...

Hi Elizabeth, I'm visiting your blog from the Writer's Voice Contest (entry #58), and I wanted to wish you the best of luck! I'm also now your newest follower, so: nice to meet you!

C.G.Ayling said...

I hope you don't get cut for the technicality of having a bad URL. Don't really think the judges would do that so I think you're safe.
The opening line of your query is exceptional! I challenge anyone to stop reading after that... And it just keeps on coming. Breaking into a witch restaurant (try and stop reading now - I just dare you!)
Amazing entry - you don't need my luck, yo've got skill - but here it comes anyway... Good luck!

Anonymous said...

This sounds like a very interesting world - I'd love to learn more about it. Nice entry!

Summer Heacock said...

Sounds awesome!! Basilisk pepperoni, lol! Love that!

Good luck in the contest!

Summer - #40

Nicole Zoltack said...

Good luck!

~Nicole, entry 68

Krysten Hill said...

I didn't know you were in the contest! Sorry I didn't come sooner!

Some of the formatting is wonky, like the second paragraph is in a smaller font than the first one, but I think that has more to do with Blogger.

I am SO glad you chose to start it where you did! It looks so much better!

Best of luck!

- Cara #41

Carrie Butler said...

I hope he doesn't get caught! :) Best of luck!